NZ Wedding FAQs
Authentic love stories for the best day of your life
Most of us only plan a wedding once. And there are a LOT of decisions involved in that planning. As a celebrant and a lifelong event pro, here are the answers to just a few of the FAQs I most often hear about how to plan a wedding in New Zealand.
How do I find a wedding celebrant in Christchurch New Zealand?
There are lots of wonderful celebrants in Christchurch and across New Zealand. The best way to find the right one is generally to ask for personal recommendations from couples you know, to pay close attention to their reviews and testimonials (like mine!), and to meet with a few different celebrants to find the one that feels like the right fit for you.
Do I have to have x at my wedding?
Almost every way you complete the sentence “Do I have to have…” (Do I have to have a wedding party?, Do I have to have a second dress?, Do I have to have an open bar? Do I have to have my Dad walk me down the aisle? Do I have to have a first dance?), the answer is NO.
Here is the very short list of the only things you have to have in NZ in order to get married: a willing and able partner, a registered celebrant, a valid marriage license and two able witnesses. Absolutely everything beyond this is your personal choice. Except, possibly, for the point below...
Do I need a wedding rehearsal?
Unless you’re eloping, my answer to this - as both an event professional and a celebrant - is absolutely yes. It’s for the benefit of every single person involved. Find the time.
Can or should I get one of my friends to be my wedding celebrant?
Yes, they can, though NZ is definitely tightening up the regulations on who can become an accredited celebrant. Oneoff weddings are a big NO-NO, the backlog to get approved is significant (3-4 months), the process is challenging (with numerous character references and an interview required) and the application is costly ($200+).
It’s also worth noting that this is not an unskilled role. Your celebrant sets the tone for your whole day, crafts your written ceremony, advises on your marriage license application, carries all the legal weight for making your marriage official and works closely with your other vendors to ensure that everything goes smoothly. They walk you through everything you need to know about your ceremony, help you write your vows, run your rehearsal, wrangle your family and, more often than not, become the counsellor who soothes your nerves in the days/weeks before. Yes, I’m biased. But even with my celebrant hat off, as a bride, I wouldn’t compromise here. I invested in a top-end pro.
What music do I need at my wedding?
For a fairly ‘standard’ ceremony, you’re looking at about a half hour of background music for when people are arriving, 1-2 songs for your wedding party to walk down the aisle, 1-2 songs to cover the signing of the marriage license and 1 more song for your wedding party exit back up the aisle. For a ‘standard’ reception, you’re looking at any background music you want, a wedding party dinner entrance song and a first dance song, plus any general dance floor music that you want. Make sure that you have someone outside of your wedding party specifically designated to play key tracks for you – your MC is a good choice – and that they have all your music on a charged device they know how to use in a downloaded (not streamed!) form. If you can’t decide what key pieces of music you want, have a think about any songs that are important to you and your partner. Something personal (even/especially if it’s unusual or unexpected) is always better than someone else’s ‘Top 50 Spotify Wedding Bangers’ playlist that has no meaning for you.
If you are having a DJ or a band, be sure to talk to them in detail about what you’d love (and hate) to hear. TIP: If you’re stuck, ask your guests to tell you what songs will get them dancing when they RSVP.
What are the best ways to cut costs for my wedding?
Reduce your guest list and/or wedding party size, limit your number of locations, buy second-hand decor and/or clothing, eliminate single-use purchases (printing, personalised gifts, signage, favours), find vendors who can combine services (photography/videography, catering/alcohol), BYO, hire instead of buying, sell whatever you can afterward.
How much should I spend on x at my wedding?
Almost every way you complete the sentence “How much should I spend on…” (How much should I spend on a wedding dress?, How much should I spend on a wedding venue?, How much should I spend on a honeymoon?), the answer is IT DEPENDS ON YOU. I never thought I would buy a ‘proper’ wedding dress but as soon as I started trying them on (you know, just to find a style I liked so I could order a knock-off from the internet...), I realised that this was something I actually wanted and deserved. I waited a long time to be a bride and I decided that I was allowed to have all the things that made me feel like one. So I rejigged the budget and made it work. Best advice, think about the forever things and forget about the forgettable things. I have yet to hear anyone say they regret buying a dress that made them feel beautiful or photos that really captured their love story, but I’ve often heard regrets about things like pricey wedding favours, a giant guest list of too many people to even see, fancy signage and stationery.
When should I send save-the-dates and invitations for my wedding, and what date should I ask for RSVPs?
For Save-The-Dates, I’d say as soon as you want, really, especially if you have overseas or out-of-town guests. 9-12 months is generally plenty, but it never hurts to get things in the diary early. For invitations, I’d say send them 3-4 months out and ask for RSVPs 2 months out. Any earlier and you’ll have people who say yes and then don’t show. Any later and you’ll be chasing those RSVPs right up until the day.
How much time should I take off work for my wedding?
Everyone’s circumstances will be unique, but I’d say a week before and a week after is a good goal. This gives you quality time with friends and family, frees you up for last-minute logistics and allows for a mini-moon straight after your big day. It’s fairly common these days to not do a big honeymoon right after the wedding, but it’s still definitely worth allowing at least a little newly-wed time straight after so you can bask in all the love.
In New Zealand a pre-nup or prenuptial agreement is called a Contracting Out Agreement, and while you don’t need one, I can’t really think of any circumstance where it’s not worth doing, especially if one or both of you are bringing any significant assets into the marriage. Note that you’ll also need updated wills when you get married, as your union will void any previous will you have on file.
Do we need a pre-nup?
When can I expect x from my wedding vendors?
Check your contract. For instance, most photographers will send a small selection of photographs within a few days and then the full gallery within a couple of months, but every vendor is different. If they haven’t delivered as promised, then it’s time to start chasing.
WHAT AM I FORGETTING?!!
Probably something. But don’t panic. A great celebrant can guide you through all the legal nuts and bolts of your ceremony and help you set the tone for your wedding day. If you’re in New Zealand, I can help! Check out the link below to learn more about my celebrant services. (And if you’re not, check out the link at the top of this page to get a copy of my full wedding planner.)